It’s time for the Get Your Pitch On Pre-competition critique workshops! For info on the competition itself, please click on the image above and for information on how to get your pitch workshopped, check out this post. (Yes! We are still taking pitches to workshop!)
Don’t forget! For each critique you leave in the comments, you get an entry in the drawing for one of eigh 10-page critique from workshop hosts Sharon Johnston, Larissa Hardesty, Stephanie Diaz, Catherine Scully, Jodie Andrefski, Paula Sangare, Talynn Lynn and Kaitlin Adams. Also yours truly will be giving away three query critiques. Please use the exact same name for all of your comments. The opportunity ends October 14. See this list of participating blogs so you can hop around and get as many entries as possible!
Genre: YA Paranormal Contemporary Romance
Pitch: Nineteen year old Meg Tanner is alone in the world. Her obsession with water leads her to meet Devin Horan and discover that her mother, whom she believed had drowned, was actually a selkie who escaped through the Gateway that has been protecting Earth from the Fae for three hundred years. Meg is forced to decide which world she belongs to, the human or the Fae, and somehow keep herself from drowning.
Right off, that seems a little short for a YA Paranormal. Also, I’d just call it a “Paranormal Romance,” with no “Contemporary.”
Nineteen-year-old This is going to be a red flag for most people. I’ll talk more about this in Note 1 below Meg Tanner is alone in the world. Her obsession with water leads her to
meet Devin Horan and he’s not mentioned again, we have no idea who he is or why he’s important, so I’d leave him out of the short pitch. discover that her mother, whom she believed had drowned, was actually a selkie who escaped through the Gateway that has been protecting Earth from the Fae for three hundred years. Meg is forced to decide which world she belongs to, the human or the Fae, and somehow keep herself from drowning. I don’t know why, but this isn’t working for me. (I know, that’s a terrible critique, sorry!) It feels heavy, a little sluggish? Maybe it’s just me – I’d definitely love to hear what the commenters think! And I’m not sure about the threat of drowning – is this a real, actual risk? I’m going to take a crack at rewriting this.
Nineteen-year-old loner Meg Tanner has always been inexplicably drawn to the water that took her mother’s life. When she discovers her mother didn’t drown, but is a Selkie who escaped through the Gateway that has been protecting humans from the Fae for three-hundred years, [something action-y, specific to your book, and exciting]. Meg has to decide between [consequences of remaining in the human world] and [consequences of joining the fae world].
Note 1: 19yo is generally regarded as too old for YA and not old enough for adult. I am one of the proponents of the New Adult/Upper YA age-group, but not everyone agrees with me (YET!). It is going to be a tough sell
I also just realized you had labeled this as a paranormal romance, but the pitch doesn’t give us any idea about romance. I’m assuming this Devin guy is the romantic interest?
As always, I encourage commenters to provide their feedback, whether or not it agrees with mine!