Query Workshop S-9: Can’t Buy Me Love

For more information about the Query Workshop, go here.

Dear Agent X:

I read that you are interested in commercial middle grade with a strong voice and I’d like to offer my upper MG novel CAN’T BUY ME LOVE for your consideration.

Thirteen-year-old Marnie Mercer thinks middle school would be perfect if she could just address a few critical issues. The lack of cell phone thing, for one. Her ho-hum social status, for another. And would it be too much to ask for a first kiss to knock her (discount store) shoes off? But when she inherits a fortune from an unknown great-aunt, she discovers a brand new set of complications.

Now, her best friend is convinced money corrupts, her parents need a loan, and a group of popular girls offer Marnie access to the top of the social pyramid, but first she’ll have to complete their zany pledging checklist. Soon she’s sneaking locks of her principal’s hair, stealing her teacher’s beloved laser pointer, and throwing a sure-to-get-her-grounded-for-LIFE party.

To make matters worse, she’s finally met a guy worth his weight in gold—only he might not be so interested if he finds out how many commas separate their allowances. Marnie needs to find a way to manage her money and her life while staying true to herself. Otherwise, she can say goodbye to her best friend’s respect, her parents’ trust, and any chance of getting her first kiss from a boy who makes her feel priceless.

Life as a teenage heiress is one mixed bag of crazy.

CAN’T BUY ME LOVE (54k words), will appeal to fans of Lauren Barnholdt, Wendy Mass’ FINALLY and Lauren Myracle’s The Winnie Years series.

(bio here)

Thank you so much for your time and attention! Per your submission guidelines the first XX pages are included below.

Best,

(contact info)

——————

Dear Agent X:

I read that you are interested in commercial middle grade with a strong voice and I’d like to offer my upper MG novel CAN’T BUY ME LOVE for your consideration.

Thirteen-year-old Marnie Mercer thinks middle school would be perfect if she could just address a few critical issues. The lack of cell phone thing (I would either take out “thing” or hyphenate lack-of-cell-phone), for one. Her ho-hum (I’m not convinced a 13yo would use “ho-hum”)  social status, for another. And would it be too much to ask for a first kiss to knock her (discount store) shoes off? But when she inherits a fortune from an unknown great-aunt, she discovers a brand new set of complications.

Now, her best friend is convinced money corrupts, her parents need a loan, and a group of popular girls offer Marnie access to the top of the social pyramid, but first she’ll have to complete their zany pledging checklist. Soon she’s sneaking locks of her principal’s hair, stealing her teacher’s beloved laser pointer, and throwing a sure-to-get-her-grounded-for-LIFE party.

To make matters worse, she’s finally met a guy worth his weight in gold—only he might not be so interested if he finds out how many commas separate their allowances. Marnie needs to find a way to manage her money and her life while staying true to herself. Otherwise, she can say goodbye to her best friend’s respect, her parents’ trust, and any chance of getting her first kiss from a boy who makes her feel priceless.

Life as a teenage heiress is one mixed bag of crazy.

CAN’T BUY ME LOVE (54k words),  an upper MG contemporary novel, will appeal to fans of Lauren Barnholdt, Wendy Mass’ FINALLY and Lauren Myracle’s The Winnie Years series.

(bio here)

Thank you so much for your time and attention! Per your submission guidelines the first XX pages are included below.

Best,

(contact info)

Haha, I’m sorry but other than the few small things I mentioned, I wouldn’t change a thing. I’ve been over it four times now because I don’t want to cheat you, but this is already very very good. 

Readers, please add your comments and suggestions down below!

Don’t forget Brenda’s giving away chapter critiques to three lucky commenters!